Toilet Paper Rationing At Coney For Bathroom-Going Beachgoers

Remember a few years ago, when Sheryl Crow was proposing, over at HuffPo, that “a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting?” Well, welcome to Coney Island 2011, brothers and sisters, because Ms. Crow’s fantasy — considered by most so radical that even the liberally like-minded Rosie O’Donnell opposed the idea — is now our reality:

The city is so hard up for cash that it’s rationing toilet paper in women’s public restrooms — to the point where bathroom attendants are doling out a few measly squares per patron — along the world-famous Coney Island boardwalk.

… Beachgoers also have been forced to line up for their paltry allotment of the city’s cheap, single-ply toilet paper at the boardwalk’s other women’s restroom at Stillwell Avenue.

… The Parks Department refused to say how much it budgeted for toilet paper and other supplies, with a spokeswoman saying only, “Bathroom supplies are stocked daily, and our budget for these supplies is consistent.”

Sheepshead Bites’ own Ned Berke reports that, when he was there on Saturday, “They were not ‘rationing’ out the TP. There simply was none. Period.”

What else is there to say when decent, hard-working American beach-goers want to enjoy a simple Fourth of July weekend, with sunshine and cool ocean breezes over at the beach, and they cannot even properly wipe themselves at a public bathroom when nature inevitably calls? How is Brooklyn supposed to be the best city in the world when we have stuff like this going on?

I don’t know about you, but I cannot help but imagine how this scenario, of bathroom attendants meting out limited TP squares per customer, plays out in reality. Does a person who needs to drop a deuce have to actually disclose that very personal information in order to secure a few extra squares?

It’s just plain ridiculous. And we have Sheryl Crow to blame.