Somewhere beneath the rumbling el, amid the chaotic crowds, street hawkers and senseless skyline of Brighton Beach, there is a God.
His name is God Gazarov, to be specific.
Gazarov is a 27-year-old owner of a Brighton Beach jewelry store. And now he’s finally recognized as God by the most godless of organizations, one of the three major credit-reporting agencies, Equifax. Gazarov filed suit against Equifax last year after the agency’s system rejected his first name, blocking him from a credit rating and making it impossible to secure loans.
The lawsuit ended late last week, with Equifax settling for an unspecified amount and adding his name to their rosters. To date, Equifax recognizes one God.
The New York Post reports:
Now boasting a healthy 820 credit score, Gazarov said he was relieved to have settled the case and plans to put his refurbished financial profile to use with a new BMW.
“It’s been five years of this,” he said. “I’m glad that it’s over.”
… “The whole point of the system is to report fairly and accurately,” his attorney, James Fishman, said after the case concluded.
Fishman said that Equifax quickly added Gazarov’s name to its credit-reporting database after he took legal action last year but that the financial settlement took time to hammer out.
When the problem first came up five years ago, Gazarov was initially implored by an Equifax representative to change his first name, which was given to him at birth in honor of his grandfather, also God.
Now God has a credit rating of 820. Some believe Satan’s might be better, given the track record of successful contracts he has executed.