The Regressives of Park Slope

Over on The Awl, writer, satirist, and self-styled Park Slope parody Amy Sohn has written a very long book plug (“Motherland” comes out August 14th!) masquerading as a personal essay exposing the sordid lives of Park Slope parents.

This paragraph more or less tells you everything you need to know, although if you keep going, you can read about it all in much, much more detail (also, “Motherland” comes out August 14th!):

When “Girls” hit this spring, I was shocked by how true the show rang to my life—not my old life as a post-collegiate single girl but my new one, as a married, monogamous, home-owning mother. My generation of moms isn’t getting shocking HPV news (we’re so old we’ve cleared it), or having anal sex with near-strangers, or smoking crack in Bushwick. But we’re masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively—though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions—Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?—by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives.

Don’t mind if I do, Amy Sohn.

On the bright side, it’s pretty refreshing to hand-wring about something other than how Millenials are The Worst, so there’s always that.