Subway Sandwiches Opens On Ave U

Everyone knows that you can lose weight by eating Subway sandwiches. But did you know if you get the right combination of bread, meat, cheese and condiments you can actually travel back in time? It’s true!

Here’s the recipe: 9-grain honey oat bread, Monterey cheddar cheese, Black Forest ham, lettuce, LSD, red onions, jalapeños, meth and chipotle sauce. Don’t forget to pick up a bag of Sun Chips… you’re going to need them where you’re going.

And now there’s a new location for you to have this sandwich carelessly slopped together with subpar ingredients (well, almost all the ingredients listed above). A Subway Restaurant is now open at 1806 1817 Avenue U, just off East 19th Street. They’ve replaced a beauty supply store that offered absolutely nothing to the time traveling community.