Shopping Cart Series: New Year’s Party City
We would have had our picture posted since last week, but we were recovering from a serious hangover that lasted a couple of days. Believe me, I would take a serious hangover like that one any day over having to spend a night in the slammer – which is where I and Party City, over here, were almost headed.
You see, we figured we would roll out the old year and ring in the new one by doing what everyone else in the neighborhood is, apparently, doing – drink it up — when some rookie cop started walking toward us at the corner of Avenue Y and East 27 Street. Just before he made eye contact, I threw my drink cup on the ground (if you look closely, you can see the cup in the picture). He started questioning us, “Don’t you guys know it’s illegal to drink alcohol on a public street?, How old are you kids, anyway?, Where’s your ID?, Don’t you guys have a bed you can find yourself in, tonight?”
We were already drunk, but we managed to come up with some answers real quick: “See a drink in my hand, officer? We’re older than you think. Don’t let our good wheels fool ya. Check our ID right there on the handle. That cart over there is Party City. He lost his voice when a car hit him, a couple months ago. Sure, officer, we’ll get right home, just this minute.”
Man, was I scared, ‘cuz Party City is a minor. I just wanted him to keep quiet, so I lied to keep him from having to talk. We tried to roll off into the night as the flat foot walked away, but, to tell the truth, our wheels were like liquid and we both just crashed right into the pole and the postal box.
Man, that was a rough New Year’s Eve and a tough couple days after, but would we do it again? Apparently, research shows that terrible hangovers don’t limit future liquor consumption. So, yes, I guess, you’ll see us drunk as a skunk around the streets of Sheepshead Bay, sometime in the near future.
Happy Belated New Year’s, everyone!
