Schumer Says Bring Law & Order Back To NYC, We Say Bring It To Sheepshead Bay

Chuck Schumer in the 1960s, competing for James Madison High School on the It's Academic television quiz show.

U.S. Senator Charles Schumer is keeping busy with important national business these days. Just this week, he has demanded an investigation into possible gas price fixing by oil companies, suggested a ban on rental car companies using recalled vehicles, and is pushing the FDA to roll out a notification system to preserve access to life-saving medications. But, perhaps most important of all, the Sheepshead-bred pol is making the case to NBC to bring back the television show Law & Order to New York City. We think he needs to take it one step further – Law & Order: Sheepshead Bay.

According to the Daily News:

NBC canceled the show and replaced it with “Law & Order: Los Angeles” during the past season, but the Los Angeles version didn’t work out so well, even after being retooled midway through its run. So NBC canceled it, too, last month when it issued its fall lineup.
Schumer wrote to NBC programming honcho Bob Greenblatt, asking that he revive the show in New York.

Schumer said that Law & Order would put roughly 4,000 people to work and inject $79 million to the local economy.

That’s all nice and dandy, but we’re thinking our neighborhood alone has enough going on to create a “Law & Order: Sheepshead Bay.”

Wait, just hear me out. According to Schumer, “With ‘Law & Order,’ there are two separate yet equally important ingredients for success: the plot lines, which provide the drama, and New York, which provides the backdrop for hundreds of stories ripped right from the headlines.

And, boy-oh-boy, do we have headlines to rip from…

Imagine an episode about Maksim Gelman, the knife-wielding madman that led police on a 28-hour manhunt after allegedly butchering three people and stabbing or running over several more. Or about the mysterious pin-striped suit-wearing corpse that floated into the bay with weights attached to his wrists and ankles? How about the spate of double murders (or attempted ones) at the Sheepshead-Nostrand Houses? Or jonesing retired police detectives that rob pharmacies for Oxycontin? Maybe a multi-episode story arc about foreign nationals and immigrants that go beserk on their girlfriends’ families and stab the heck out of them?

Really, in Sheepshead Bay, there’s no shortage of compelling murder material. I mean, even America’s Most Wanted has its eyes on us.