Luxury Watch: If James Bond Were A Doctor…

Nothing says luxury like wooden teeth

We’ve already pointed out the marketing trend in our area that labels any piece o’ junk “luxury.” There was the luxury condo that, well, wasn’t. There was the luxury day care center that certainly wasn’t. And now there’s the luxury medical office that… actually, this one kinda fits the bill.

This ad hit Craigslist last Wednesday:

One-of –a kind Turn-key Medical Office (never occupied) for immediate lease in a 5-story medical building with parking. This place is luxuriously decorated. You’ve never seen anything like this – must see to believe.
Ideal for large practice or small 2-4 doctors group, especially interested in office-based procedures. Cosmetic, Plastic Surgery, OBGYN, Urology, GI, Pain Management or other providers who want to impress their clients.

The 4,000-square-foot space across the street from the Belt Parkway on Voorhies Avenue includes eight private offices and a lead-lined, sound-proof procedure room (but only one parking spot). But nevermind that, or the central air, or the “large” waiting area – let’s focus on the fancy.

Waiting room of wonder

For a monthly rent of $128,000, we’re talking cherry wood parquetry in the hallways and African Rosewood parquetry in the offices; Mahogany woodwork all throughout; gold-leaf ceilings, chandeliers, marble, mirrors, spot-lighted portrait spaces – agh! This is style!

Yeah, we could make fun of it with jokes about its Shining-esque hallways or the really goofy, pretentious paintings. But none of that would do it justice. Lingering over any jokes we might make remain important – and unanswered – questions:

Why the hell is this bourgie ball of bullshit in Sheepshead Bay, and is this a good thing?

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