Five Reasons South Slope Will Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

Five Reasons South Slope Will Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

The zombie apocalypse is inevitable. There’s no reason to panic, though, because South Slope is in an excellent position to survive the initial invasion. Here’s why:


1. This guy. Whoever owns this car can lead the way. They’re ready.

gowanus canal

2. The Gowanus. Get a dinghy and set sail. Even if the undead could swim (which they can’t), they’d never survive a dunk in that water.


3. The Armory. Hello, giant military fortress. Stock this baby up and you’d be able to ride out the initial invasion with little fear that the undead will bust through the walls.

bike lane

4. We’re bike riding machines. If you decide to hit the road, bikes are a great way to go because you can definitely outrun a plodding zombie. Bonus? You don’t have to worry about running out of gas.

Green-Wood Gates

5. Green-Wood. We know what you’re thinking. A cemetery in a zombie apocalypse? It turns out that cemeteries are one of the safest places to be and make a great rest stop if you need to take a break from the bike. “Bodies that reanimate have to be fresh, reasonably intact, and infected with the solanum virus,” explains The Zombie Survival Guide. Since Green-Wood’s residents have been here for a while, we don’t have to worry about them. Another plus? The cemetery’s terrain isn’t very zombie friendly. Those hills can be tough for the fit, healthy and still living.

Have a zombie apocalypse plan of action? Be sure to share your tips in the comments below.


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