Dog of the Day: Dixie

Today we meet Dixie, a slightly-neurotic Southerner with a talent for singing.

What would Dixie do if she actually caught that squirrel?
Um, she’d probably ask it its name.

Do you think it’s a love thing?
I think it’s an animalistic hunting thing.

What kind of dog is Dixie?
She is a mutt. Pure-bred mutt.

She’s beautiful.
I love her so much. I have two small kids, and she’s fantastic with them.

She looks so smart.
Yeah, you know she’s either not smart at all or she’s a genius. Hard to tell.

What would be her defining personality traits?
Effective, neurotic, trusting…

Neurotic how?
Well, our friend Dixie can only turn right out of our stoop. Not left. She’s like Zoolander. So we can only go to the park. I can never bring her to 7th Avenue.

Do you think that would make her a Romney supporter?
Is this a political blog?What’s her favorite food?  
She likes to eat crayons. They’re non-toxic. And she loves people food. She’s partial to quinoa.

How did she develop a taste for quinoa?
Table scraps.

Lucky dog.
Another strange thing… She has some hound in her. So anytime a siren goes by, she can replicate its pitch perfectly. On really rainy days, when I’m cooped up with the kids, sometimes we google sirens just to hear her howl. She has beautiful operatics.

Why “Dixie?”
She’s actually from Alabama. They ship a lot of these shelter dogs up north, so liberals will adopt them. Dixie is the result of me having a bad day. Things weren’t going right. She was an impulse buy. It was the best worst decision of my life. She was the sickest one they had. She had an intestinal parasite. I nursed her back to health. Now she only turns right.