An Accountant’s Fruitcake Recipe
Tuesday Tips is a series of articles from local experts to help you save money, make better decisions and plan for a better future. Well, that’s what it usually is, anyway. This week we go in a slightly different direction.
Fruitcake Recipe
Ingredients:
*One cup water
*One cup sugar
*Four large eggs
*Two cups of dried fruit
*One teaspoon baking soda
*One teaspoon salt
*One cup brown sugar
*Lemon juice
*Nuts
*One bottle whisky
Step One:
- Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
- Repeat.
Step Two:
- Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
- Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
Step Three:
- Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Step Four:
- Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
- Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Step Five:
- Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
- Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again, and go to bed.
Merry Christmas!
Joseph Reisman, of Joseph S. Reisman & Associates, has been serving tax prep and business accounting expertise from his Coney Island Avenue office for more than 25 years. Check out the firm’s website.
