Flat Tires Preventing Trip Home To Maryland?

This post started as just another musing about something seen now and then: a car parked and unmoved for an extended period of time on a public street. It quickly morphed into a series of questions for which I have no real answers.

The car we’re speaking of is a black, luxury sedan, Chrysler L300, with Maryland plates. It has two rear flat tires and it’s on East 16 Street and Avenue Y, parked very close to a hydrant and a sign that says “No Parking Wednesday 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.” for, what seems like, more than a month.

• Did this car get two rear flat tires because it has been unmoved for too long or has it been subject to tire slashing vandals?
• How does a car sit on the street unmoved for weeks and still stay so clean?
• How does a luxury car sit on a city street and not have it’s rims or wheels stolen?
• How is it possible that a car can stay parked so close to a hydrant and not get ticketed for this?
• Is it possible that the ticketing agent is, like most of us average people, not aware of the city’s very confusing parking rules?
• How has it only racked up three NO PARKING – STREET CLEANING tickets, when it has been at the same spot for more than a month?
• Will the owner of this vehicle be able to use the “my car was disabled” defense?
• Have mechanics at the shop just over the fence offered their services to the captive customer?
• Cars are registered and issued plates by the state, so why is it only possible to check a car’s tickets by city or county?
• Is the owner of this car somewhere in Maryland wondering as to where his or her car has been whisked away?; or
• Is someone concerned about the whereabouts of the owner?

Tune in next week for these and many other answers when we present another episode of [play male bass echoing voice]:
Sheepshead Bay’s Illegal Parking!