This Week's Apartment Rental Roundup

These door frames are the best door frames. (Courtesy Zillow/vicky77898)

A good deal on an apartment is a lot like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still kinda good. Well, let me tell you, these apartments? They’re the best. I mean, the absolute best. Bee-yoo-tee-ful apartments. The greatest apartments ever put on this Earth. And if you miss out? Sad!

73rd Street
Price: $1,600/Month
Size: 2 bedroom/1 bathroom
Details: Frames are like the crust of an apartment. You don’t really think about them unless there’s something off. Well, let me tell you: these are the best frames. These frames are made from only the best. The best. These frames are winners. They’re not crooked. You don’t like them? You’re a loser!
Contact: vicky77898, (646) 836-1211

Cardboard: a sign that pizza is near. (Courtesy Zillow/ladybanks55 of sobanks real estate)

76th Street
Price: $1,750/month
Available: Immediately
Size: 2 bedroom / 1 bathroom
Details: You look around this room, and there’s more than just the same cardboard material they use for pizza boxes. There’s the massive living room that greets you when you enter this five room pad befitting any baron.
Contact: ladybanks55, (917) 805-8324

Making this apartment great again. (Courtesy Zillow/Rutenberg NYC)

2058 77th Street
Available: Now
Price: $1,650/month
Size: 2 bedroom/1 bathroom
Details: To make a good pizza, you have to do some work. You have to use the dough, you need to put lots of cheese. It’s a whole thing. This two bedroom is getting work done, and let me tell you, it’s exquisite. A perfect 10.
Contact: Rutenberg NYC, (347) 654-1394