Laugh Till You Cry With Emily Flake’s New Book ‘Mama Tried’
When we discovered that I was pregnant, after five long years of fertility issues, I envisioned all the magical parenting moments that were no doubt headed our way. Gummy smiles, coos, peaceful walks through Prospect Park, and the overwhelming joy that comes when that sweet babe falls gently asleep in your arms.
Don’t get me wrong, those things totally happened, but they were also intertwined with hysterical crying (from both me and the baby), exploding diapers, raging hormones, and sleepless nights where I found myself begging the kid to just Go The F**ck To Sleep.
Bringing up baby is definitely not the fairytale we imagined, but Windsor Terrace author and illustrator Emily Flake is here to show us that we’re all journeying through this “seamy underbelly of modern parenting” together.
We caught up with Emily to talk about her hilarious new book, Mama Tried, her go-to neighborhood favorites, and what it’s like to raise a kid in Brooklyn.
KBK: First of all, tell us a bit about yourself.
Emily Flake: The elevator-pitch version: A writer, illustrator, and New Yorker cartoonist living in Brooklyn with my husband, daughter, and a small orange cat.
What brought you to your corner of Brooklyn, and how long have you lived in the neighborhood?
We’ve lived in Windsor Terrace for five years — a tiny blip by the standards of the neighborhood. We love it very much, and have a small shrine to our landlords that we pray to in hopes of never getting kicked out.
Tell us about the genesis of Mama Tried.
Well sometimes when a mommy and daddy love each other very much… honestly, having a child was both a source of great material and a big fire lit under my rear — kids are notoriously bad earners, so it was time to step up, productivity-wise.
In the book, you talk about how isolating those early days of parenthood can be — something that I wasn’t prepared for, and had a very difficult time with. It wasn’t until I got up the nerve to meet with moms in the Park Slope Parents “2010 Spring Babies” group that I began to realize there really were other sleep-deprived, snot-covered parents out there looking for support and camaraderie. What surprised you the most about this stage of parenthood, and how did you find your way back to the land of the living?
Am I in that land yet?? My daughter is three and I still seem to be covered in effluvia of one kind or another. Maybe I just need to do laundry more often. Though I will say that I was so pleasantly surprised by the women I met through my own mothers’ group (Cortelyou Moms Summer ’12 FTW! Wooohoo!). I couldn’t have picked a better, more fun bunch of ladies (and men! and babies!).
We’ve run into our fair share of sanctimommies over the years — one lady almost had a conniption on 5th Avenue and 9th Street when she didn’t think my kid was dressed warmly enough. Have you faced a lot of unsolicited parenting advice from strangers?
A woman in a coffee shop went on and on about how my child had such great cheeks: “You can really tell a breast-fed baby,” she said, and went on to tell me all about breastfeeding her kids, including a daughter who didn’t wean until she was four. Why didn’t I cut this lady off and tell her we also used formula? Or just tell her to please, for the love of god, put an artisanally-produced hempen sock in it? I don’t remember. I may have been too sleep-deprived to really find my inner bitch.
It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. How has finding the humor in parenthood helped you cope with things like projectile poop, exhaustion, and teething?
Without it, I would have gnawed my own hands off long ago. Seriously, if you don’t laugh, you’ll die crying. I think that’s true of any challenge.
What are some of the things that you love about raising a child in Brooklyn? Things you don’t like?
I could not design a better place to raise a child. We’re close to Prospect Park, we have a slew of playgrounds handy, you can take a tour of the world without even leaving Coney Island Avenue, there’s a zoo, a children’s museum — I could go on for hours. My daughter proudly crows, “That’s the F train! It goes to Manhattan! But not the G train ‘cause it’s too little!” and my heart swells with pride.
What don’t I like? It would be nice to have a little yard and a washer-dryer, but really, those are small prices to pay. And everyone in the borough wishes real estate was more affordable, by which I mean “affordable to people who do not own trunks full of gold doubloons.”
What is your favorite kid-friendly restaurant?
The one we live above! Le Paddock is the best — friendly, lots of kids, great food, and best of all (for us) we can whisk her upstairs if she starts acting up. I am also a huge fan of Brooklyn Commune, Bene Pizza, and The Fox and the Crepes, which just opened up a couple weeks ago. I can gain 10 pounds without even leaving my block!
Do you anticipate a follow-up book on the trials and tribulations of school in New York?
WE ARE GOING TO GET INTO THE PERFECTLY NICE SCHOOL WE’RE ZONED FOR AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. Right? Right???
If you could go back to the day your daughter was born and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?
I actually have a very mundane answer to that: maybe try that whole baby-led weaning thing. We did packets and now she won’t eat anything but candy. Also, stop just saying you’re relaxed about everything and ACTUALLY RELAX ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Join Emily for a special launch party/reading at BookCourt (163 Court Street, between Dean and Pacific Streets) on Wednesday, October 7. For more information, or to RSVP, visit the BookCourt Facebook page.
Mama Tried: Dispatches From The Seamy Underbelly Of Modern Parenting hits bookshelves on October 6.
For family-friendly news, events, information, and more from around Brooklyn, check out our sister site, City Kid Corner.