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# Good Morning Dog Walker, Stop Stealing Newspapers
- URL: https://bklyner.com/good-morning-dog-walker-stop-stealing-newspapers-sheepshead-bay/
- Published: 2011-12-23T19:00:25.000Z
- Updated: 2011-12-23T18:43:21.000Z
- Author: Ned Berke
- Tags: just in time pharmacy, #API-Imported

![](/content/images/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/sign1.jpg "sign")

Readers of Sheepshead Bites might be surprised to learn that some people still *pay* for news. Not only that, this news is actually printed (yes, *printed*!) on sheets of pulped, chemical-laden *murdered trees*! They kill *trees* to produce *news* for you to *pay* for! *Injustice*!

Well, one such place that sells these antique news delivery systems is Just In Time Pharmacy at 2126 Knapp Street. And the buggers have found that a bunch of fools who think paper grows on trees (wait, huh?) are just taking them! Without paying for them! Paying for the news! They didn’t *pay* for the *news*!

Be still, my beating heart. Though nothing could be so tragic as the idea that citizens could be coerced to pay – to *pay* for *news*! – through tricks originating from the most deviant, obscene recesses of a publisher’s dark, insipid mind – yes, though all of this may be true in its own sick, twisted way – we take comfort. We take comfort in the fact that a [lone hero ](/)stands on the side of citizens and democracy, providing [information daily and for free.](/) Yes, a [hero](/), a [media messiah](/), if you will, which may one day perish for all [publishers’ sins](http://brooklyndaily.com/?ref=bklyner.com) (and they, believe it, [are many](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List%5Fof%5Fassets%5Fowned%5Fby%5FNews%5FCorporation?ref=bklyner.com)), for now rides high on the horizon, casting the warm, comforting glow of [knowledge](/) upon its [unappreciative public](/breaking-cables-down-on-avenue-z/#comment-392530334) at no charge.

And, yet, there are scoundrels who steal by forcing those to pay – to *pay* for *news*! – and then there are those scoundrels, in turn, thieving from the thieves. Who here is the greater villain? Who is the douchiest douche of them all?

Oh, right, the dog walkers and bicyclists who are stealing from a locally-owned small business. That’s pretty douchey.

*Photo and tip courtesy of Rob S.*