Save On Fifth: A Love Letter in 10 Questionable Purchases

Want it and don’t know where to get it? Save On Fifth has it. Whatever it is, Save On Fifth has it. The more unclear where you’d acquire such a thing, the more likely Save on Fifth has it. The stuff that the buying managers at the big stores have the good sense poor judgement to reject? Save on Fifth has it.

Tasty Top Cake Pops ($9.99). It’s the fast easy way to CAKE POP FUN! Have you been searching for CAKE POP FUN? Where else can you find CAKE POP FUN?

Charmin Toilet Seat Covers, 5 pack ($0.99). I didn’t know that these were a thing, but newly-informed, maybe I need them? I am now worried about the life I led pre-toilet seat cover. Probably, it’s as bleak as the life I led pre-cake pop.

Essentials Nut Grater ($5.99). What’s your nut-grating strategy?

Jonas Brothers Backpack, ($4.99). Probably the best bargain here ever. That the Jo-Bros moment has passed basically makes this a collector’s item.

Sock Locks, ($1.99). They lock your socks! I cannot lie — I bought these. Am I proud? No, no I’m not. But will I lose my socks in the wash? No, no I won’t.

Isotoner Knit Hoodwrap ($6.99). Save On Fifth may be the only purveyor of such it’s-a-hood-no-it’s-a-wrap headwear in the Slope, if not the borough (the world?). The main difference between this and a wide scarf is — well, I’m not sure. But it’s important.

Saw, ($9.99). What if you’re sitting around on a Sunday afternoon and the hardware stores are closed and you really, really need to slice some boards?

Artificial Sweetener Packets, 100 count ($2.99). Not for individual resale, pshaw. Now you, too, can capture the diner experience in your very own home!

Kachooz Rock Star Alien ($6.99). Pretty self-explanatory.

Save On Fifth, 421 5th Ave (at 8th Street), (718) 965-2040.