Southern Brooklyn

WTF?! Star Architects In Sheepshead Bay?

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Courtesy Google Maps

If architect Frank Gehry took a dump from the top of the ugly tree, then that dump hit every branch on the way down, and then a naked mole rat ate the dump, vomited it up, ate the vomit, got diarrhea from it – the condo above would be the architectural equivalent of the resulting putrid liquid expelled from that naked mole rat’s rear.

And though this is one of the worst new constructions in the area, it really does exemplify the limits of creative thinking in Sheepshead Bay’s condo architecture.

That’s why I burst into laughter when I received the following message in my inbox. I mean, this guy is looking for the “star architects” of Sheepshead Bay, the neighborhood of the fugliest of the fugly when it comes to condo architecture. In addition to the sack o’ crap above, on Nostrand Avenue and Emmons Avenue, we also have condos like The Breakers, the fanciest storage unit complex in the borough.

Here’s what our reader wrote:

Have a question- I’m looking for a nice/boutique/luxe’ property in the Brighton Beach/Sheepshead area. My lease is coming up in about six months, so I wanted to begin doing some research.

Any recommendations? Are there any local star architects? Are there any local really awesome (modern) clean, glassy buildings?

I particularly like the stuff of Meier, Gehry, etc… it’s probably out of my price league but still would be interesting to know if any great architects really touch our area?

Guh… faw…

Really? I’m being punk’d, right? The nicest condo architecture in Sheepshead Bay and Brighton Beach would be considered average at best by any other neighborhood’s standard.

But that’s my opinion, and obviously I can’t help this guy. Anyone care to add anything?

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