Senior Allegedly Throws Himself From Window

The New York Post has reported that an 83-year-old man is in critical condition after he “apparently jumped out of a window.”

While the exact cause is unknown, the senior allegedly defenestrated himself a few minutes after midnight, April 23, from one of the windows of 2565 Haring Street (reported in The Post as “Hering Street in Sheepshead Bay” [Update: Neighbors are now telling us that, contrary to the Post’s report, the address was actually 2465]), down the block from the P.S. K811 Connie Lekas School at 2525 Haring Street, and directly across the street from the Avenue Z parking lot attached to the Nostrand Avenue strip mall.

FDNY officials say that the octogenarian went into cardiac arrest after allegedly jumping and was taken to Coney Island Hospital. No further information was available at press time.