Southern Brooklyn

Open Thread: Phones, Phones, Phones

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I hate my cell phone. Just about everyone I know hates their cell phone, too.

And, when you’re in the kind of work environment I’m in – fast-paced, digital, mobile – everyone out there expects you to have the sleekest, cutting-edge tech there is.

Except when you’re in the line of work I’m in – journalism – you’re also broke.

So, no, I don’t have an iPhone. I won’t fork over $100+ a month so I can beat Plants v. Zombies for the 82nd time. Besides, I have that on my (3G-less) iPad. I also have an iPod Touch an old friend gave me. So I’ve got enough Apple crap and the phone ain’t gonna add much to it – except fees.

So, back to my cell phone. I’d call it a paperweight, except it’s not really heavy enough when a breeze comes through the window. I really don’t want to call it a phone either, since it’s constantly losing calls and fails to send or receive text messages. If you’ve ever seen me make a phone call, it takes about a minute and a half to unlock the phone, get to my contact list, find the contact, dial the contact, choose whether or not to call using my call screening service, and then, finally, maybe it’ll dial that person. And maybe it’ll keep the call.

Or maybe it’ll just start perceiving phantom commands on the untouched touch-screen.

So, no, I guess I don’t have a phone or a paperweight.I have a rage-inducing klusterfuck from the eighth circle of hell.

Courtesy of Samsung. (“Inspire the World, Create the Future, Annoy the Shit Out of Ned.”)

Do you have a phone you actually like?

Y’know, don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear about it. And I also don’t want that inevitable asshat comment, “You should’ve just gotten a [relevant Apple device here],” which is the comment that always comes about when you say there’s something wrong with your computer, tablet or phone.

So, instead, make me feel a little better: tell me what sucks about your phone.

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